Sunday, January 10, 2010

The worst thing about expectation or commitment is...

...Disappointment or betrayal. I start today with a very heavy heart...and though I will apologize to you who are having a great day, I am reminded day after day that people are not always all that they seem. In our humanity we are fallen, horrible beings that really do deserve the worst. While that is all gloom and glum, there is hope. His name is Jesus Christ. Only through Him are we anything. It is not through our own power that we live but through His.

Very few people are now surprised at the divorce rate in our country...with percentages in the 50-60 percent range in BOTH Christian and non-Christian people groups, it is a very sad state our country is in. Most reasons are because in infidelity. My church and especially my choir/orchestra are broken today with news of a fallen man...A man that has been in the church for more than 20 years and who's children I know and went to school with. I know how this sort of thing tears families apart because my brother (and therefore my family) has gone through the same thing. My heart goes out to the family and I know that God is the All Sufficient Comforter in our times of need.

It is easy to idolize or put our church leaders in a category all their own. One of beyond reproachment but one of just that...leadership. Because they are vessels of God, we expect them to ALWAYS live their lives in a God-honoring way. Sometimes though, we forget one thing...they are human. These people aren't the ones who we should put our faith and hope in because sometimes we fall. It IS however, an opportunity to wrap our arms around them in love and support and help them move past it. That does not mean that it should go without consequences. I am very proud of how my church dealt with the situation and commend the man for coming forward. I pray that he will get his life straight before the Lord and that God will mend his family.

As a woman, this is probably the hardest thing for us to imagine. Despite any promise to be faithful, any man can fall just as easily as our husbands or boyfriends. It's not that they just cheated and betrayed us, but that somehow we didn't meet their needs or that we weren't good enough. This isn't an excuse for men, or sometimes even a reason at all, but that is how we take it. It makes us question EVERYTHING about the relationship. Girls constantly need reassuring of the man's love and affection and most of all commitment and dedication to their relationship. Pursue her, and bottom line, put effort into the relationship at ALL stages. But most importantly if you don't have God in the mix then it is next to impossible to have a COMPLETELY wonderful marriage. If you guys are up to that (for the rest of your life) then say goodbye to the girl before you marry her! Not that all girls are all they seem either, cuz I know girls have been guilty of the same...so my advice is also directed at us girls too. I look at my parents marriage...as of this year they will have been married 38 years. If I could have a marriage that is half as good as theirs then it will be great. They, above all, put God first, then each other. Never once have I questioned if they love each other or will stay together. Has everything been peachy keen over the years? NO...in fact quite the opposite. But the way we attempt to handle these situations is by prayer. That is the ONLY way things get worked out. We all need to humble ourselves before God and He WILL help us. I have prayed for along time and continue to pray that I will have a husband who takes not only leadership but spiritual leadership in our relationship and family. I pray that he will always be open about the struggles he faces and take steps to limit and destroy those struggles...I pray that he will lift me up in prayer for the same things. But hey,...guess what?...if you do fall, it is not the end of the world. God will work a miracle in your life if you truly humble yourself before Him. Your church body should surround you and your family with support and help you to get back on track. Hope is not lost in the Lord.

So, what can we do?...PRAY. Constantly lift your spouse or significant other up in prayer. For us women, read Proverbs 31 and make that the prayer of your heart. Praying separately is wonderful but praying together is also much needed. I thank God so much for the opportunity to go to a Christian university where I have friends I can do this with. I really don't know how the rest of the world deals with problems because I know I would be hopeless with out Jesus.

To those who didn't want a sermon, I didn't force you to read this. I hope none of this came off as judgmental because I need to be reminded of this stuff as well. I am by no means a perfect person, and will never claim to be. I am a sinner saved by Grace and who continually needs her Savior to walk with her. I hope this also helped anyone who reads it...it is meant as an encouragement rather than a point the finger at. If you are struggling, grab a pastor or a friend who you trust. The first step to healing is repentance. That is something I need to remember EVERY day. No one said this life would be easy, but with God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

OH...one more thing to keep in mind, "Nothing of eternal importance is ever accomplished apart from prayer"- Dr. Jerry Falwell (derived from Mark 9:14-29)

Thanks for reading,
Dr. Jess, M.D.

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