Hey all,
So sorry to be away for so long. The end of school is about the craziest thing I could ever describe. However, now I am a college graduate :) It was such a wonderful day. Glenn Beck spoke for commencement and outside of the fact it was SOOOOO HOT outside, everything was amazing. It honestly feels weird that my years as a student at LU are done. So many things, good and bad, happened there and the more I think about it, the more I'm going to miss it. Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited to be going to VT in the fall and moving and the such. But I also know it won't be anything like I'm used to and sometimes the thought of it is a little overwhelming. Thank you to my boyfriend Danny, my good friend Bill, my family and everyone else who made May 15, 2010 so much fun.
Let me forewarn you now, I am in an emotional mood. I sit and look at my life...well more like I think about it and reflect and pray and the such and the one thing that keeps penetrating my thoughts is where things are going. I'm much the person to look forward to things. It's not that I don't/can't live in the here and now but especially when things are rough I very much chose to look at what is to come and how I hope things will be different/easier...its just how i deal with being overwhelmed...i look forward to it being over haha. What am I referring to? Well among a myriad of things that would fit here, probably the most dominating one, for girls at least, is the person who they will ultimately end up marrying. I know you see it everyday, as soon as you graduate 60% of your friends get married in the summer immediately after graduation. I'm sorry boys, but it puts us girls in a "thinking mood." That isn't a bad thing to look at our relationships and wonder where they are headed, so please don't get frustrated with us trying to talk to you about it. I think at the end of the day there are a few key things that men would do well in remembering and enacting in their own lives. It is not that girls have it all figured out and I'm sure you guys could offer your own input here, but after all, I am the one writing this, though I welcome the feedback :) Girls we can learn a thing or two here as well:
1. Know yourself: I think one the key things in a relationship is for each person to know themselves and the values, goals and dreams they want in life. This allows both party's to evaluate one another to see if those things match up. So many times you hear of one person or the other say "I gave up this for him/her" or "I always wanted to do that but" and I think it drives a lot of people (esp you men) into resentment. That is not to say compromise is always bad, in fact it is very necessary in relationships. But the only way to do this correctly is to have a deep, meaningful relationship with God. Let's put it this way, the closer you get to God, the more you will learn about yourself and the closer you will get to the person you proclaim to love.
2. It is not enough just to say I love you: Now before you all hate me, please listen to why this is. Actions speak louder than words. How many times do you see relationships that the woman sticks around b/c her man (every time he does something seriously wrong) says, "I love you." OK guys, yes by now you know girls are VERY emotional. We tie EVERYTHING up in them...literally. When we are down we think about bad things, when we are up we think about good things. But here is the thing, we are very vulnerable to those three small but powerful words. I challenge you men to find new ways of saying I love you to your sweetheart. If she really means something to you, this shouldn't be very hard to do. You know why? Because when guys put their mind to something, THEY DO IT. Yes, this is a very interesting observation that I have learned. You should WANT to do this forever. I'm not saying every second of everyday has to be dripping with sugar sweetness but you should do something often enough that your girl won't have to question your intentions. It honestly isn't that hard to please us. I know in this day an age you guys may think it is, but in reality it is the small little things that mean the most to us girls.
3. We don't want to be in control: Now this one may be a little shocking but no, we don't want to control the relationship. In fact it is quite the opposite; we want YOU as the man to take control. That mean if you want to see us, YOU make the plans. A curious thing happens when this isn't the current state of the relationship (meaning the guy isn't calling the shots): girls tend to "find a way to make it work." This usually leads to the girl feeling used and unwanted/unappreciated. Guys, I don't think many of you get it...we just want to be with YOU. We wouldn't be with you if we weren't already into you. All you guys that have a girl should want to be with them as often as you can manage. Not sit around and wait for them to call/text you! This isn't to say the us girls can't make the plans sometimes. I like to be spontaneous and plan things...but it is a whole other story when you get in the position that you are always planning and not letting your man pursue you. ALL of you guys should make it a point to go to church. And it saddens me to no end that guys all over the country and even at LU, do not feel the need to go to church. I don't care whether you don't like the preaching style or the songs or whatever you don't like...if you don't have the means to go find the perfect church for you, just GO TO ONE!!! If you are there for a certain thing or certain person or certain style...YOU ARE THERE FOR THE WRONG REASON! The point of church is to give of your time to God, and to ask Him to speak to you in WHATEVER way He wants to. It isn't about going to have a social call, but it is to worship God. I look forward to Sundays...b/c I know I'm going to get re-fueled. Yes, I've been bombarded with church church church at LU but that has NOT made me want to forsake going to church b/c I "got church all through the week." Take a stand men, God will reward it.
4. That's just it; we girls want to be pursued: OK guys here is the secret to girls...ahem...are you ready for this?...we just want to feel wanted. We want to feel like we are important enough to someone that we literally are the world to them. Not that we should be "god" to them or take the place of God with a person but guys I guarantee that if you were to put your girl up on a pedestal, put her first in your life (outside of God), and think of her before yourselves, then I promise the respect that you long for and the unconditional love that comes with a girls respect WILL BE YOURS. I'm sorry to you guys who think this is only for the initial dating phase....nope it is and will be a life long job. But I stand by my promise and I do challenge you ALL to try it. If you do this, it will make it so much easier for your girl to make you first in her life. You will find she is less likely to question your love or your actions if you do put her first. She WANTS to respect you, she WANTS you to lead, she WANTS you to WANT her...more than anything...and she wants to KNOW it...often!...not guess or assume it. We want to feel included in your life...with your friends and your jokes and your enjoyments. Most guys think girls would enjoy a night if video games or poker or whatever and that is quite the opposite. Yes, we know you enjoy your "guy time," but it should NEVER be at the expense of excluding or ignoring your girl.
5. It's not about you anymore: So this is an area that I think girls and guys struggle in. But I think it is harder for men to grasp it. Once you are in a relationship and you want it to go somewhere (hopefully culminating in marriage) it isn't about you anymore...it is about us. Even if you know you aren't ready yet or have awhile to wait before you make the long time commitments, the only way you can know if and when you are ready is if you are thinking as a couple. If you talk about plans and dreams and put the OTHER ONE first. No longer can you just go "out with friends" and not tell anyone, or just sit around like a bump on a log. It is more than just one person. After long days at work, you will come home and want to take comfort and solace in your spouse...and if you don't start making time for that now, it WILL never happen. But YOU have to WANT to do this...we can't make you. We here from our mothers all the time that "men don't change, so don't expect them to." Though there is a ton of truth in that, you men can make a decision to change something just as well as we girls can. That doesn't change who YOU are as a person but it changes how you have relationships with other people. Nobody can make you do this...but I would hope that I or the girl in YOUR life would be reason enough to make you want to be the best you can be.
6. Look for good and godly examples of relationships that work: I know and you know that even though we would like to think we know it all, WE DON'T! We are human and learning is part of the human experience. Love and relationships are one of the hardest areas to learn the right thing b/c many people love in different ways or feel loved in different ways. I keep thinking back to the android on Star Trek: The Next Generation, Data, he wanted to be a 'real' person but he didn't have emotions and he didn't know what it was to feel or give love. He knew what it was, but couldn't do it himself....until I think one of the last episodes and then I think he did or something random like that :) Its been awhile since I've seen them :) ANYWHO, God did give us parents and the ability to see their relationship and others relationship and hopefully to learn from them. Guys, it is OK to realize that you don't have it all together. And I know I don't either. I know I would never purposefully make a person feel like less of a man b/c he didn't have all the answers. In fact, I would take it as a mark of maturity...for a person to realize he needs godly wisdom and seeks it from those he admires.
7. We want to know what it means to you when you tell us you love us: I don't know how to say it better. I want you to look me in the eye and through those 3 little words, tell me why you love me. I want it to speak so loudly though your everything that I feel like you can't wait to shout if from the mountain top. We girls want to know that you guys are absolutely smashingly IN LOVE and crazy about us. Trust me, we girls are Crazy in love with you guys! We want you to show us AND tell us how much you love us!
8. At the end of the day: we need you to communicate with us. Whatever the day was like, but specifics about the day. What you are planning (IN ADVANCE, not the night before) and how you are feeling. We know you don't like your "emotional side" very much but we do know you have feelings. If you want to connect with us girls...you will at least attempt to share these feelings with us. It isn't going to be perfect and that is ok. We girls don't have the perfect communication thing going either. But effort is the thing that matters the most. We want to feel like we aren't putting the majority into a relationship and getting very minimal out. At the end of the day we need you guys to know that you are the most important person in our lives and we literally would do anything for YOU. Don't use that against us please!
9. We want to feel secure: that 50-70 years from now you will still be a crazy for us as you are now. And that it won't fade for nothing no matter how crappy life gets or what you go through individually or as a couple.
10. We don't want to wait forever: guys, you can't just sit around and not grow up! We girls don't want to be used and taken for granted while you try to figure it out. We don't expect everything to work out overnight and have everything be perfect. It takes work...hard work and you have to be willing to put it in. We want and need a 'help mate.' Not someone who doesn't get the picture and does not want to grow up and make a life for himself (and hopefully your girl). This doesn't mean that girls have license to be hateful or belittling, but guys if we try to talk about things that we see that need to change, don't get mad like we are attacking you, please listen to what we are saying and look to see if any of it has merit. If it does, just do it or try to change it, if it doesn't discuss it with your girl. Explain why you do things a certain way or how you perceive things or something to that effect. I promise if you come to us or let us talk to you about stuff you WILL GAIN A BEST FRIEND and a confidant that will LIFT YOU UP always. She will feel honored that you talk to her and confide in her and in turn will do EVERYTHING in her power (and guys we girls have superpowers sometimes ;) ) to make you feel like the ONLY MAN on earth.
11. We just want you! Sometimes this is the biggest reason why we just forget this list and go ahead without making sure a guy treats us like this is because we love you so much. The emotional connection that is at the core of every girl drives this...it drives us to be loyal (well i know it drives me haha)...and it drives us to want to be with you always, and as often as possible...we don't want to beg for attention...you should want to give it freely.
These are the things I am looking for in a guy...it takes work...that I know. And I will not say "yes" to a guys proposal until I know he will do these things before marriage. I am NOT perfect and it is mostly b/c I am not perfect that I need a guy that is and will do the things above. It is conversely the same for girls...you guys look for things in a girl b/c whether you recognize it or not, you need it to complement yourself. That is why we have these kind of relationships. So guys...please don't take this as me dissing you, my intent is to let you know the things that matter the most to us girls. It isn't your looks or your charm per say or your gifts (though all of those are a plus ;) ) but it is how you treat us every minute of everyday from the time you meet us till the day you decide you want to marry us, till the day that death parts us or the Lord returns. Girls take notice here that you deserve nothing short of the above and it honestly is NOT too much to ask if a guy is going to be a good husband. But at the same time girls, be gentle with your men...esp. in the respect area. Make sure if you talk to them, you try to do it in a way that is non "threatening" and comfortable so your man will want to open up more. We ALL need help! And its ok...b/c even if we do all of this, the only thing that will make a relationship meaningful to the fullest, is if God is in the center of it.
Well I think I've talked your ears off tonight...thanks for listening and God bless...I'll be back soon!
~Dr. Jess M.D. :)
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
"Will anybody find me....Somebody to love"
I blinked and spring break arrived! So I finally have a little time to write again. I wanted to start by announcing that I have been accepted at Va Tech for grad school. Needless to say I am quite excited :)
Last night I was googling quotes. I sometimes do this when I want to find a way to say something directly but indirectly either to a few people or to one. Well, I stumbled upon the following:
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”
I think this quote sums up the perfect senario. But then I realize that this can't possibly define every moment of every relationship. If it does then there are probably problems that you don't know about or chose not to see. Even with the normal bumps in the road, at the end of the day, before I go to sleep, I would like to know that the above is true about me and my guy.
Sometimes I would love to be a fly on the wall of my boyfriends dorm. This is probably just because it would interesting to know how he talks about me to his friends. I think every girl is that curious and I don't mean it to want to pry but guys talk differently when they are around their friends. I know it is mostly good :) and that he really really loves me and cares about me. That is one of the best feelings in the world. I implore you men to treat your women like they are the most precious person in the world. Yes, you will have your fights but I'm not talking about that. But you all have to make a decision...it is the decision to grow up and take ownership of your relationship b/c usually, it can only progress as far as the guy wants or can make. Many guys are under the impression that just because they say something once or a couple of times, that we girls just remember you feel that way forever. And though, from experience, I wish this was true, sometimes we girls get really insecure. I wish I would accurately explain why this happens, but I don't think I rightly know why we get so "bent out of shape." I think it goes deep into our personalities and though it may seem like an excuse, deeply hormonal. I think this is just to say, you can never say I love you or You look beautiful baby enough to your wonderful girlfriends. It NEVER gets old when I hear my boyfriend say this to me. So what is the take home message? Find a girl who it is easy to make the above quote true for both of you! and remember that even though you fight it doesn't mean how you feel has changed. I think the goal then is make your feelings known beyond a shadow of a doubt and often so that when you do fight, that is a cushion against damaging words. Well, guess that is all for now...I apologize if it is a little all over the place :) ...until next time
~Dr. Jess M.D.
Last night I was googling quotes. I sometimes do this when I want to find a way to say something directly but indirectly either to a few people or to one. Well, I stumbled upon the following:
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”
I think this quote sums up the perfect senario. But then I realize that this can't possibly define every moment of every relationship. If it does then there are probably problems that you don't know about or chose not to see. Even with the normal bumps in the road, at the end of the day, before I go to sleep, I would like to know that the above is true about me and my guy.
Sometimes I would love to be a fly on the wall of my boyfriends dorm. This is probably just because it would interesting to know how he talks about me to his friends. I think every girl is that curious and I don't mean it to want to pry but guys talk differently when they are around their friends. I know it is mostly good :) and that he really really loves me and cares about me. That is one of the best feelings in the world. I implore you men to treat your women like they are the most precious person in the world. Yes, you will have your fights but I'm not talking about that. But you all have to make a decision...it is the decision to grow up and take ownership of your relationship b/c usually, it can only progress as far as the guy wants or can make. Many guys are under the impression that just because they say something once or a couple of times, that we girls just remember you feel that way forever. And though, from experience, I wish this was true, sometimes we girls get really insecure. I wish I would accurately explain why this happens, but I don't think I rightly know why we get so "bent out of shape." I think it goes deep into our personalities and though it may seem like an excuse, deeply hormonal. I think this is just to say, you can never say I love you or You look beautiful baby enough to your wonderful girlfriends. It NEVER gets old when I hear my boyfriend say this to me. So what is the take home message? Find a girl who it is easy to make the above quote true for both of you! and remember that even though you fight it doesn't mean how you feel has changed. I think the goal then is make your feelings known beyond a shadow of a doubt and often so that when you do fight, that is a cushion against damaging words. Well, guess that is all for now...I apologize if it is a little all over the place :) ...until next time
~Dr. Jess M.D.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The Winds of Change
So, I've noticed that I now have a total of 5 followers. This is awesome and I thank you for reading!
I have had the most exciting weekend. I have been to two very different places: Blacksburg,VA and Raleigh,NC. As most of you know I'm applying to grad school so I have been quite blessed to have these interviews. But, they were two different experiences with one being a college town about the size of Lynchburg and the other being in a large city. And as I was driving the nearly 400 miles all over the place by myself, I had a lot of time to think and ponder and the other such things that people do while driving alone. I had three different routes that provided for a very entertaining drive. The more I though about it though, the more I thought of a pretty cool analogy pertaining to relationships. So I hope it makes sense and I would love the feedback...
There are mainly two types of relationships that people get into: safe relationships which turn out ok (but not always), and relationships that are risky but promising and can end up being great. I am going to try to tie my school choosing to this...ok? so right now it looks like I'm choosing between VA TECH and NC State University.
The drive down to Tech was very familiar and common because I have been there many times. The town of Blacksburg is a little bigger than Lynchburg but not by much. It has a very similar feel to it and it would feel like a natural progression to chose to go there. Like this, there are relationships that are very easy. Guy meets girl, they go out, things go well, they never really have any bumps or mountains to deal with, they get engaged, and married and live "happily ever after." I must say if you are one of the very few people who have this kind of relationship, you are indeed blessed with an enormous amount of patience and tolerance because it takes a lot of compromise to mesh together well.
Driving from VA Tech to NC State was a totally new drive for me. It was a beautiful ride. Coming off the blue ridge mountains provided a most spectacular view going into North Carolina. I wouldn't normally take this way because it is an hour longer than travelling from my house, but it was shorter than drive back to my house and down from there. Anywho, yes it was a totally a new experience and driving into Raleigh. I was more nervous because, though I had my little GPS, I was unfamiliar with my surroundings. The school I have never been to and it is huge. It was a very impressive place...not that Tech wasn't but I have seen Tech so many more times. This can be correlated to the second type of relationship, the risky one. This is the relationship that everyone said was doomed to fail or the "bad guy" relationship. It is no secret that girls tend to be attracted to a guy that is confident (not arrogant) and sometimes the guy that is classified as a "bad guy." It is a mystery why that is, but I believe it has to do with the risk. The challenge of investing in someone else with the prayer that they will reciprocate the emotion/action in the same way if not greater is attractive especially to me because I care about people. The relationship that probably will pay off if there is time invested and you work together to overcome problems. Boy meets girl, they go out, things start great, start to slip, face a lot of bumps and problems, and then have two options. They can throw in the towel and leave, or they can work it out. Working it out is one of those phrases that is used too much. It also can be very hard to stay with it. Working it out sometimes is one sided because the other person may not be ready for such a commitment so you have to adjust your thinking and emotional state. Usually though, those relationships that are a little rocky in the beginning tend to be the strong ones in the end. All because you took a risk and chose the person you felt would be the best fit (for whatever reason). In relation to choosing a school, NC State would be the biggest change, the biggest risk, and the biggest challenge. Does this mean I'm kindda scared? heck yes...but that is totally fine. Everything we do has a certain amount of risk involved, but the payoff is usually amazing when something finally is completed.
I guess what I am trying to say to both guys and girls is, #1. take a risk already and #2. don't lose hope when something or someone doesn't work out quite the way you imagined or plan...you never know what the Lord has planned until you seek His will in it. Also, invest in what you love...don't always take the obvious path (this is of course if you do not feel lead in one particular way or another through prayer) because the only way you grow is to learn and to try new things. Break out of the old habits of dating one type of person all the time. You may be surprised that the person that is always there or the person that no one expects will be the most wonderful person on earth.
Thanks for listening...I hope this was a source of encouragement!
Dr. Jess, M.D.
I have had the most exciting weekend. I have been to two very different places: Blacksburg,VA and Raleigh,NC. As most of you know I'm applying to grad school so I have been quite blessed to have these interviews. But, they were two different experiences with one being a college town about the size of Lynchburg and the other being in a large city. And as I was driving the nearly 400 miles all over the place by myself, I had a lot of time to think and ponder and the other such things that people do while driving alone. I had three different routes that provided for a very entertaining drive. The more I though about it though, the more I thought of a pretty cool analogy pertaining to relationships. So I hope it makes sense and I would love the feedback...
There are mainly two types of relationships that people get into: safe relationships which turn out ok (but not always), and relationships that are risky but promising and can end up being great. I am going to try to tie my school choosing to this...ok? so right now it looks like I'm choosing between VA TECH and NC State University.
The drive down to Tech was very familiar and common because I have been there many times. The town of Blacksburg is a little bigger than Lynchburg but not by much. It has a very similar feel to it and it would feel like a natural progression to chose to go there. Like this, there are relationships that are very easy. Guy meets girl, they go out, things go well, they never really have any bumps or mountains to deal with, they get engaged, and married and live "happily ever after." I must say if you are one of the very few people who have this kind of relationship, you are indeed blessed with an enormous amount of patience and tolerance because it takes a lot of compromise to mesh together well.
Driving from VA Tech to NC State was a totally new drive for me. It was a beautiful ride. Coming off the blue ridge mountains provided a most spectacular view going into North Carolina. I wouldn't normally take this way because it is an hour longer than travelling from my house, but it was shorter than drive back to my house and down from there. Anywho, yes it was a totally a new experience and driving into Raleigh. I was more nervous because, though I had my little GPS, I was unfamiliar with my surroundings. The school I have never been to and it is huge. It was a very impressive place...not that Tech wasn't but I have seen Tech so many more times. This can be correlated to the second type of relationship, the risky one. This is the relationship that everyone said was doomed to fail or the "bad guy" relationship. It is no secret that girls tend to be attracted to a guy that is confident (not arrogant) and sometimes the guy that is classified as a "bad guy." It is a mystery why that is, but I believe it has to do with the risk. The challenge of investing in someone else with the prayer that they will reciprocate the emotion/action in the same way if not greater is attractive especially to me because I care about people. The relationship that probably will pay off if there is time invested and you work together to overcome problems. Boy meets girl, they go out, things start great, start to slip, face a lot of bumps and problems, and then have two options. They can throw in the towel and leave, or they can work it out. Working it out is one of those phrases that is used too much. It also can be very hard to stay with it. Working it out sometimes is one sided because the other person may not be ready for such a commitment so you have to adjust your thinking and emotional state. Usually though, those relationships that are a little rocky in the beginning tend to be the strong ones in the end. All because you took a risk and chose the person you felt would be the best fit (for whatever reason). In relation to choosing a school, NC State would be the biggest change, the biggest risk, and the biggest challenge. Does this mean I'm kindda scared? heck yes...but that is totally fine. Everything we do has a certain amount of risk involved, but the payoff is usually amazing when something finally is completed.
I guess what I am trying to say to both guys and girls is, #1. take a risk already and #2. don't lose hope when something or someone doesn't work out quite the way you imagined or plan...you never know what the Lord has planned until you seek His will in it. Also, invest in what you love...don't always take the obvious path (this is of course if you do not feel lead in one particular way or another through prayer) because the only way you grow is to learn and to try new things. Break out of the old habits of dating one type of person all the time. You may be surprised that the person that is always there or the person that no one expects will be the most wonderful person on earth.
Thanks for listening...I hope this was a source of encouragement!
Dr. Jess, M.D.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
FUN FACTS: Top 10 things... Vol 1.
To my most loyal followers (all 3 of you) and to those of you who read without following (which I would like to think is more than 3), I bid thee welcome to a long overdue post. I must say I was expecting a hard/busy semester, but I wasn't expecting this. It seems I feel almost burnt out already and it is the second week of school haha. So to get my mind off of school for a little while, I thought I would return to the blogging world and grace you with my presence. (ok so that was pretty much not humble, but I'm in a slightly playful mood...probably due to lack of sleep).
Ladies and Gentlemen, for your enjoyment, I would like to present FUN FACTS. The subtitle will be filled in with something sortta random but in someway related to women and our personalities...but sometimes I'll throw something whimsical in there. So, without further ado, FUN FACTS: Top 10 things that women need.
1. Women need to feel loved. I personally believe EVERYONE needs this feeling and security. But I also think it is very critical for women. This is more than the "I Love You" that should always be exchanged in a relationship. For women, actions are heavily tied with emotions. And usually, though ALL women liked to be surprised by something big, it is the small things that men do (i.e. random i'm thinking of you texts or hey, lets do something...i really want to be with you) that really make women feel loved by their men. It is sometimes funny that men think that they just have to do that stuff for a little while, until they "have" the girl...but here is a news flash for you men...you should do this kind of thing all the time...and even up into your marriage. There a certain things that you can never say too much to the woman you profess to love. For example...#1 I LOVE YOU, #2 I am a lucky guy, #3 I love getting to see you, #4 You are beautiful. I know it may seem like you say it once and we should just remember it regardless, but I'm truly sorry, it doesn't work that way. Romance is what every woman dreams about for her life. I think men would find it almost funny the kinds of dreams we girls have regarding marriage and the life with the man of our dreams. In a way it is not unlike the fairy tales...and though life never plays out like a fairy tale, the one thing that always happens is that the woman and the man are deeply in love and "live happily ever after" even if life itself is a dark and scary place. At least they have each other...and both partners should remember and remind each other of that fact.
2. Women need to feel important. It is no hidden fact that women did not always hold the same place as men in this world. Even now in some cultures women are still treated like possessions. And though I strongly believe there are some jobs which should be served in a male capacity, women love to feel useful. This is true in the workplace but also in the relationship. A woman needs to feel like you want her to be around...that you value her in good times and in bad times. I promise men, if you uplift your woman, she will respect you more and it will pay off big time.
3. Women need to feel trust. Duh... Well as basic as it sounds, it is true. I want to feel like my guy can come to me (and better yet, wants to come to me first) about anything in his life. Not all girls are the blabber mouthed, gossip frogs seen on many TV shows or experience in real life. I know when my guy tells me something that really opens up to me, I get a wonderful feeling that makes me feel so special b/c he trusted me enough to tell me.
4. Women need communication. OK guys we need your help...and I believe you need ours in this area. It is a fact that women speak about double the amount that guys speak so I know this is hard for you guys to comprehend. But get this...we LOVE to talk to you. We would love to know how your day went and what you did, and what you learned and in short EVERYTHING. I know this seems like a little strange cuz you guys could care less what your guys friends were doing. But esp. when we can't see you, we want to talk...regardless if we say so or not. We need to know how you feel on so many levels. Like were you are in the relationship and things of that nature. Also, women love the guys opinion on anything. So next time your girl or even a female friend asks your opinion, don't say whichever, give her a meaningful answer This is one field that need continual work on by both parties.
5. Women need surprises. Don't get freaked out guys...I'm not talking about fancy gifts or expensive dates (though these are most welcome occasionally ;) ). What i'm talking about is little unexpected ways to show your love that they are on your mind and that you indeed love them. This can be done in countless ways. Guys you are creative! esp when you put some effort into it. If a guy wants something, he only has to put his mind to it to get it done. We women love the surprise that you even did a simple thing to make us feel special. This is also something that should spill over into marriage.
6. Women need sports. Ok guys, we all know that you are all sports fanatics. And that is amazing....that you can keep all the teams and the members straight and that you know countless random facts about each an every sport. The reason I say that women need sports is because deep down we really love them. I know for one I do. And it isn't so much as I know a lot about them, cuz honestly I know VERY little (as I'm sure my boyfriend can attest to) but I love to participate in something my man loves. I love getting to see him play as well as the joy he finds in sports. It makes me love the game that much more. Plus it is really cool cuz guys find it really attractive...not women being "one of the guys" but women who enjoy watching the game with them.
7. Women need chocolate. Yes, this is slightly humorous but I pity the women who cannot have chocolate! It solves many woes haha. All is right in a world with chocolate!...P.S. GREAT MOVIE Chocolate....
8. Women need shopping. As my mother says, "it's cheaper than therapy." In some ways this is very true. Shopping can be very therapeutic for a girl. I think it gives us an opportunity to think things through and pray about it. Also, nice things make us feel better :) on all levels. I'm definitely not saying that the way to make up for things is by buying your way back into your girls good graces, I'm just saying that even if a girl doesn't buy anything, the action "shopping" can be very good for a girl. I guess in a similar way as sitting in a chair doing or saying nothing (or playing video games/watching countless movies) can be therapeutic for a man. The fine line between reality and insanity though has to be kept in perspective. If these things (for both parties) dominates a lifestyle, it can lead to very bad consequences.
9. Women need advice. Why do you think we like talking to other women or consult our mothers when we totally don't get something you guys do? For me, (though I can put on a pretty convincing show) I don't understand guys completely. I understand some aspects but then he will do something seemingly innocent and it pulls the rug out from under me unexpectedly. Girls find comfort in talking about it and though guys may eventually talk about it, they want to turn introspective for awhile till they are collected enough to talk it out rationally. Yeah, sometimes guys will ask advice of their guy friends but usually guys like to "figure it out" on their own. This is hard for me to understand cuz I know I need all the help I can get to be the right wife for my future husband. The strongest place that I can get my advice is from God. He is my sustainer and never leaves me. I strongly suggest that you talk to HIM first. :)
10. Women need Men. OK I admit it...we can't live with you...but we CERTAINLY cannot live without you. It is how we were designed to be! And yes guys...you know you need us ;) I love this fact. It is quite comforting to me that women are created for men and vice versa. God, in his infinite wisdom, has created quite the symbiotic relationship (yes that is a science word, but what do you expect?) I am so grateful for my guy and know I'm completely blessed to have him in my life.
Well folks, I think that does it for tonight. I hope you enjoyed it. I apologize in advance for the delay between posts. Life is crazy! Until then, much love and stay out of trouble kids.
~Dr. Jess M.D.
Ladies and Gentlemen, for your enjoyment, I would like to present FUN FACTS. The subtitle will be filled in with something sortta random but in someway related to women and our personalities...but sometimes I'll throw something whimsical in there. So, without further ado, FUN FACTS: Top 10 things that women need.
1. Women need to feel loved. I personally believe EVERYONE needs this feeling and security. But I also think it is very critical for women. This is more than the "I Love You" that should always be exchanged in a relationship. For women, actions are heavily tied with emotions. And usually, though ALL women liked to be surprised by something big, it is the small things that men do (i.e. random i'm thinking of you texts or hey, lets do something...i really want to be with you) that really make women feel loved by their men. It is sometimes funny that men think that they just have to do that stuff for a little while, until they "have" the girl...but here is a news flash for you men...you should do this kind of thing all the time...and even up into your marriage. There a certain things that you can never say too much to the woman you profess to love. For example...#1 I LOVE YOU, #2 I am a lucky guy, #3 I love getting to see you, #4 You are beautiful. I know it may seem like you say it once and we should just remember it regardless, but I'm truly sorry, it doesn't work that way. Romance is what every woman dreams about for her life. I think men would find it almost funny the kinds of dreams we girls have regarding marriage and the life with the man of our dreams. In a way it is not unlike the fairy tales...and though life never plays out like a fairy tale, the one thing that always happens is that the woman and the man are deeply in love and "live happily ever after" even if life itself is a dark and scary place. At least they have each other...and both partners should remember and remind each other of that fact.
2. Women need to feel important. It is no hidden fact that women did not always hold the same place as men in this world. Even now in some cultures women are still treated like possessions. And though I strongly believe there are some jobs which should be served in a male capacity, women love to feel useful. This is true in the workplace but also in the relationship. A woman needs to feel like you want her to be around...that you value her in good times and in bad times. I promise men, if you uplift your woman, she will respect you more and it will pay off big time.
3. Women need to feel trust. Duh... Well as basic as it sounds, it is true. I want to feel like my guy can come to me (and better yet, wants to come to me first) about anything in his life. Not all girls are the blabber mouthed, gossip frogs seen on many TV shows or experience in real life. I know when my guy tells me something that really opens up to me, I get a wonderful feeling that makes me feel so special b/c he trusted me enough to tell me.
4. Women need communication. OK guys we need your help...and I believe you need ours in this area. It is a fact that women speak about double the amount that guys speak so I know this is hard for you guys to comprehend. But get this...we LOVE to talk to you. We would love to know how your day went and what you did, and what you learned and in short EVERYTHING. I know this seems like a little strange cuz you guys could care less what your guys friends were doing. But esp. when we can't see you, we want to talk...regardless if we say so or not. We need to know how you feel on so many levels. Like were you are in the relationship and things of that nature. Also, women love the guys opinion on anything. So next time your girl or even a female friend asks your opinion, don't say whichever, give her a meaningful answer This is one field that need continual work on by both parties.
5. Women need surprises. Don't get freaked out guys...I'm not talking about fancy gifts or expensive dates (though these are most welcome occasionally ;) ). What i'm talking about is little unexpected ways to show your love that they are on your mind and that you indeed love them. This can be done in countless ways. Guys you are creative! esp when you put some effort into it. If a guy wants something, he only has to put his mind to it to get it done. We women love the surprise that you even did a simple thing to make us feel special. This is also something that should spill over into marriage.
6. Women need sports. Ok guys, we all know that you are all sports fanatics. And that is amazing....that you can keep all the teams and the members straight and that you know countless random facts about each an every sport. The reason I say that women need sports is because deep down we really love them. I know for one I do. And it isn't so much as I know a lot about them, cuz honestly I know VERY little (as I'm sure my boyfriend can attest to) but I love to participate in something my man loves. I love getting to see him play as well as the joy he finds in sports. It makes me love the game that much more. Plus it is really cool cuz guys find it really attractive...not women being "one of the guys" but women who enjoy watching the game with them.
7. Women need chocolate. Yes, this is slightly humorous but I pity the women who cannot have chocolate! It solves many woes haha. All is right in a world with chocolate!...P.S. GREAT MOVIE Chocolate....
8. Women need shopping. As my mother says, "it's cheaper than therapy." In some ways this is very true. Shopping can be very therapeutic for a girl. I think it gives us an opportunity to think things through and pray about it. Also, nice things make us feel better :) on all levels. I'm definitely not saying that the way to make up for things is by buying your way back into your girls good graces, I'm just saying that even if a girl doesn't buy anything, the action "shopping" can be very good for a girl. I guess in a similar way as sitting in a chair doing or saying nothing (or playing video games/watching countless movies) can be therapeutic for a man. The fine line between reality and insanity though has to be kept in perspective. If these things (for both parties) dominates a lifestyle, it can lead to very bad consequences.
9. Women need advice. Why do you think we like talking to other women or consult our mothers when we totally don't get something you guys do? For me, (though I can put on a pretty convincing show) I don't understand guys completely. I understand some aspects but then he will do something seemingly innocent and it pulls the rug out from under me unexpectedly. Girls find comfort in talking about it and though guys may eventually talk about it, they want to turn introspective for awhile till they are collected enough to talk it out rationally. Yeah, sometimes guys will ask advice of their guy friends but usually guys like to "figure it out" on their own. This is hard for me to understand cuz I know I need all the help I can get to be the right wife for my future husband. The strongest place that I can get my advice is from God. He is my sustainer and never leaves me. I strongly suggest that you talk to HIM first. :)
10. Women need Men. OK I admit it...we can't live with you...but we CERTAINLY cannot live without you. It is how we were designed to be! And yes guys...you know you need us ;) I love this fact. It is quite comforting to me that women are created for men and vice versa. God, in his infinite wisdom, has created quite the symbiotic relationship (yes that is a science word, but what do you expect?) I am so grateful for my guy and know I'm completely blessed to have him in my life.
Well folks, I think that does it for tonight. I hope you enjoyed it. I apologize in advance for the delay between posts. Life is crazy! Until then, much love and stay out of trouble kids.
~Dr. Jess M.D.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Hot Topic
Welcome friends...I write to you tonight freshly home from Greenville, NC...aka home of East Carolina University and capitol of very little...haha. I travelled with a friend, Kaitlin, for an interview and we had a good time :) I'll keep you posted on the outcome :)
So, I thought I would try to stir the comments section up with a little controversial material called "female over-reaction." I know you men out there are probably quite familiar with this so-called phenomena. It is responsible for much discord and mishap in the relationship. Though it is never our intention as girls to do something to cause our relationships to be put in this state, often we misread a most harmless occurrence as the end of the world.
It can happen to any couple...you'll be going along and then bang...something seemingly innocent happens and the girl is going off. Some girls really don't get it that they have totally had a disconnect. But usually with a little time to reflect we get it. I guess sometimes it is an attention ploy...to get you guys to talk to us or pay attention a little, but it often leaves me feeling really bad for having done it. Why? usually because it ends up in a fight...cuz the guy feels attacked and the girl feels neglected. It truly is a most dizzying cycle.
I can almost imagine the scene that takes place in the guys head when something like this happens...correct me if I'm wrong guys. Once this has occurred...the guy is trying to make it better without it turning into a fight...but then the girl says something that makes you feel attacked and your instinct is to fight back. (P.S. guys are MUCH better at fighting than girls. And though the situation is not always how it appears, guys usually can make more sense out of it than girls) It also seems to be fairly common for guys just to "need some space" after a fight... I will be the first one to tell you that this is VERY hard for me to comprehend. After a fight I want to work it out right then so that we can "kiss and make up" as soon as possible...I think this is because we are built with natural insecurities (which by the way ARE the guys responsibility for at least trying to smooth over and build us up) that a fight feeds into.
The female thought process is delicately tied to her emotions. Her mood, most always, will dictate the way something is interpreted. This leaves guys in a most difficult position because they are not mind readers (Fun Fact: neither are girls). Girls want guys to just "get it" meaning understand what they want all the time...I will be the first one to say that it isn't like that. Not that guys are complete imbeciles, cuz I think sometimes they "get it" more than they let on, ...but communication is the key to a good relationship. But I know this issue is something we will have to deal with till the Lord returns...I sometimes wonder if God, in His sense of humor, laughs when the misunderstanding is had...if you think about it...the stuff we fight about usually is pretty funny or stupid. Pick your battles ladies and gentlemen. Oh one piece of advice...Don't go to sleep angry....this doesn't mean that everything has to be perfect and completely better...but don't be angry with the person you love while you sleep. I think you will find that you will sleep better with problems going on if you at least set the anger aside. Who knows...maybe things will be clearer too.
P.S. comments are welcome
~Dr. Jess, M.D.
So, I thought I would try to stir the comments section up with a little controversial material called "female over-reaction." I know you men out there are probably quite familiar with this so-called phenomena. It is responsible for much discord and mishap in the relationship. Though it is never our intention as girls to do something to cause our relationships to be put in this state, often we misread a most harmless occurrence as the end of the world.
It can happen to any couple...you'll be going along and then bang...something seemingly innocent happens and the girl is going off. Some girls really don't get it that they have totally had a disconnect. But usually with a little time to reflect we get it. I guess sometimes it is an attention ploy...to get you guys to talk to us or pay attention a little, but it often leaves me feeling really bad for having done it. Why? usually because it ends up in a fight...cuz the guy feels attacked and the girl feels neglected. It truly is a most dizzying cycle.
I can almost imagine the scene that takes place in the guys head when something like this happens...correct me if I'm wrong guys. Once this has occurred...the guy is trying to make it better without it turning into a fight...but then the girl says something that makes you feel attacked and your instinct is to fight back. (P.S. guys are MUCH better at fighting than girls. And though the situation is not always how it appears, guys usually can make more sense out of it than girls) It also seems to be fairly common for guys just to "need some space" after a fight... I will be the first one to tell you that this is VERY hard for me to comprehend. After a fight I want to work it out right then so that we can "kiss and make up" as soon as possible...I think this is because we are built with natural insecurities (which by the way ARE the guys responsibility for at least trying to smooth over and build us up) that a fight feeds into.
The female thought process is delicately tied to her emotions. Her mood, most always, will dictate the way something is interpreted. This leaves guys in a most difficult position because they are not mind readers (Fun Fact: neither are girls). Girls want guys to just "get it" meaning understand what they want all the time...I will be the first one to say that it isn't like that. Not that guys are complete imbeciles, cuz I think sometimes they "get it" more than they let on, ...but communication is the key to a good relationship. But I know this issue is something we will have to deal with till the Lord returns...I sometimes wonder if God, in His sense of humor, laughs when the misunderstanding is had...if you think about it...the stuff we fight about usually is pretty funny or stupid. Pick your battles ladies and gentlemen. Oh one piece of advice...Don't go to sleep angry....this doesn't mean that everything has to be perfect and completely better...but don't be angry with the person you love while you sleep. I think you will find that you will sleep better with problems going on if you at least set the anger aside. Who knows...maybe things will be clearer too.
P.S. comments are welcome
~Dr. Jess, M.D.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The worst thing about expectation or commitment is...
...Disappointment or betrayal. I start today with a very heavy heart...and though I will apologize to you who are having a great day, I am reminded day after day that people are not always all that they seem. In our humanity we are fallen, horrible beings that really do deserve the worst. While that is all gloom and glum, there is hope. His name is Jesus Christ. Only through Him are we anything. It is not through our own power that we live but through His.
Very few people are now surprised at the divorce rate in our country...with percentages in the 50-60 percent range in BOTH Christian and non-Christian people groups, it is a very sad state our country is in. Most reasons are because in infidelity. My church and especially my choir/orchestra are broken today with news of a fallen man...A man that has been in the church for more than 20 years and who's children I know and went to school with. I know how this sort of thing tears families apart because my brother (and therefore my family) has gone through the same thing. My heart goes out to the family and I know that God is the All Sufficient Comforter in our times of need.
It is easy to idolize or put our church leaders in a category all their own. One of beyond reproachment but one of just that...leadership. Because they are vessels of God, we expect them to ALWAYS live their lives in a God-honoring way. Sometimes though, we forget one thing...they are human. These people aren't the ones who we should put our faith and hope in because sometimes we fall. It IS however, an opportunity to wrap our arms around them in love and support and help them move past it. That does not mean that it should go without consequences. I am very proud of how my church dealt with the situation and commend the man for coming forward. I pray that he will get his life straight before the Lord and that God will mend his family.
As a woman, this is probably the hardest thing for us to imagine. Despite any promise to be faithful, any man can fall just as easily as our husbands or boyfriends. It's not that they just cheated and betrayed us, but that somehow we didn't meet their needs or that we weren't good enough. This isn't an excuse for men, or sometimes even a reason at all, but that is how we take it. It makes us question EVERYTHING about the relationship. Girls constantly need reassuring of the man's love and affection and most of all commitment and dedication to their relationship. Pursue her, and bottom line, put effort into the relationship at ALL stages. But most importantly if you don't have God in the mix then it is next to impossible to have a COMPLETELY wonderful marriage. If you guys are up to that (for the rest of your life) then say goodbye to the girl before you marry her! Not that all girls are all they seem either, cuz I know girls have been guilty of the same...so my advice is also directed at us girls too. I look at my parents marriage...as of this year they will have been married 38 years. If I could have a marriage that is half as good as theirs then it will be great. They, above all, put God first, then each other. Never once have I questioned if they love each other or will stay together. Has everything been peachy keen over the years? NO...in fact quite the opposite. But the way we attempt to handle these situations is by prayer. That is the ONLY way things get worked out. We all need to humble ourselves before God and He WILL help us. I have prayed for along time and continue to pray that I will have a husband who takes not only leadership but spiritual leadership in our relationship and family. I pray that he will always be open about the struggles he faces and take steps to limit and destroy those struggles...I pray that he will lift me up in prayer for the same things. But hey,...guess what?...if you do fall, it is not the end of the world. God will work a miracle in your life if you truly humble yourself before Him. Your church body should surround you and your family with support and help you to get back on track. Hope is not lost in the Lord.
So, what can we do?...PRAY. Constantly lift your spouse or significant other up in prayer. For us women, read Proverbs 31 and make that the prayer of your heart. Praying separately is wonderful but praying together is also much needed. I thank God so much for the opportunity to go to a Christian university where I have friends I can do this with. I really don't know how the rest of the world deals with problems because I know I would be hopeless with out Jesus.
To those who didn't want a sermon, I didn't force you to read this. I hope none of this came off as judgmental because I need to be reminded of this stuff as well. I am by no means a perfect person, and will never claim to be. I am a sinner saved by Grace and who continually needs her Savior to walk with her. I hope this also helped anyone who reads it...it is meant as an encouragement rather than a point the finger at. If you are struggling, grab a pastor or a friend who you trust. The first step to healing is repentance. That is something I need to remember EVERY day. No one said this life would be easy, but with God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!
OH...one more thing to keep in mind, "Nothing of eternal importance is ever accomplished apart from prayer"- Dr. Jerry Falwell (derived from Mark 9:14-29)
Thanks for reading,
Dr. Jess, M.D.
Very few people are now surprised at the divorce rate in our country...with percentages in the 50-60 percent range in BOTH Christian and non-Christian people groups, it is a very sad state our country is in. Most reasons are because in infidelity. My church and especially my choir/orchestra are broken today with news of a fallen man...A man that has been in the church for more than 20 years and who's children I know and went to school with. I know how this sort of thing tears families apart because my brother (and therefore my family) has gone through the same thing. My heart goes out to the family and I know that God is the All Sufficient Comforter in our times of need.
It is easy to idolize or put our church leaders in a category all their own. One of beyond reproachment but one of just that...leadership. Because they are vessels of God, we expect them to ALWAYS live their lives in a God-honoring way. Sometimes though, we forget one thing...they are human. These people aren't the ones who we should put our faith and hope in because sometimes we fall. It IS however, an opportunity to wrap our arms around them in love and support and help them move past it. That does not mean that it should go without consequences. I am very proud of how my church dealt with the situation and commend the man for coming forward. I pray that he will get his life straight before the Lord and that God will mend his family.
As a woman, this is probably the hardest thing for us to imagine. Despite any promise to be faithful, any man can fall just as easily as our husbands or boyfriends. It's not that they just cheated and betrayed us, but that somehow we didn't meet their needs or that we weren't good enough. This isn't an excuse for men, or sometimes even a reason at all, but that is how we take it. It makes us question EVERYTHING about the relationship. Girls constantly need reassuring of the man's love and affection and most of all commitment and dedication to their relationship. Pursue her, and bottom line, put effort into the relationship at ALL stages. But most importantly if you don't have God in the mix then it is next to impossible to have a COMPLETELY wonderful marriage. If you guys are up to that (for the rest of your life) then say goodbye to the girl before you marry her! Not that all girls are all they seem either, cuz I know girls have been guilty of the same...so my advice is also directed at us girls too. I look at my parents marriage...as of this year they will have been married 38 years. If I could have a marriage that is half as good as theirs then it will be great. They, above all, put God first, then each other. Never once have I questioned if they love each other or will stay together. Has everything been peachy keen over the years? NO...in fact quite the opposite. But the way we attempt to handle these situations is by prayer. That is the ONLY way things get worked out. We all need to humble ourselves before God and He WILL help us. I have prayed for along time and continue to pray that I will have a husband who takes not only leadership but spiritual leadership in our relationship and family. I pray that he will always be open about the struggles he faces and take steps to limit and destroy those struggles...I pray that he will lift me up in prayer for the same things. But hey,...guess what?...if you do fall, it is not the end of the world. God will work a miracle in your life if you truly humble yourself before Him. Your church body should surround you and your family with support and help you to get back on track. Hope is not lost in the Lord.
So, what can we do?...PRAY. Constantly lift your spouse or significant other up in prayer. For us women, read Proverbs 31 and make that the prayer of your heart. Praying separately is wonderful but praying together is also much needed. I thank God so much for the opportunity to go to a Christian university where I have friends I can do this with. I really don't know how the rest of the world deals with problems because I know I would be hopeless with out Jesus.
To those who didn't want a sermon, I didn't force you to read this. I hope none of this came off as judgmental because I need to be reminded of this stuff as well. I am by no means a perfect person, and will never claim to be. I am a sinner saved by Grace and who continually needs her Savior to walk with her. I hope this also helped anyone who reads it...it is meant as an encouragement rather than a point the finger at. If you are struggling, grab a pastor or a friend who you trust. The first step to healing is repentance. That is something I need to remember EVERY day. No one said this life would be easy, but with God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!
OH...one more thing to keep in mind, "Nothing of eternal importance is ever accomplished apart from prayer"- Dr. Jerry Falwell (derived from Mark 9:14-29)
Thanks for reading,
Dr. Jess, M.D.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Whirlwind of thoughts...
Hello again. I trust that I haven't kept you on the edge of your seat waiting for the next post, haha.
It is not a new fact that men and women think differently. It is pretty obvious if you spend any time with the opposite gender that this is a true statement. The one thing you must remember is that girls are ALWAYS thinking...we always are mulling something over in our heads and trying to keep things organized and figured out. As where you can ask a man what they are thinking about and the reply is "nothing." I wouldn't be able to know if that is even possible, but guys do seem able to turn off at least the symptoms of thinking. Maybe that is their way of mulling things over. Regardless, at any given time some little tidbit of information will unlock a whole new train of thought that no one else would even give a second thought to. Why do I bring this up? Well, only just because I have been doing a lot of thinking recently. I'm about to make some huge decisions in my life and frankly, though I'm very excited, I'm also scared beyond measure. There are really only 3 things that make that better; prayer, talking, and THINKING. So, last night at work, I had a strange shift. I had to work from 12 am to 9 am to bring out the spring line of clothes. This was an enjoyable time because it was just a few associates, NO customers :), we turned the music up loud, and danced. We each had a several projects to do. In doing these projects it left a lot of time time to think. When I get into a rhythem like preparing for a lab, or busting shipment, or anything that I can do "mechanically" (that is, rhythm-like), it instantly triggers the thought wheels turning. Especially working through the night when I'm most used to sleeping, a lot of the "straightening out" process was lost...more dream-like than I realized at the time. But needless to say, I made it through the shift...otherwise there wouldn't be this post...you get the picture.
Guys, on the other hand, seemingly handle thinking and stressful situations differently. It is more introspective and quiet, as were girls can't wait to spill some new revelation. Guys don't want to appear stressed or lost cuz that is their thing...they command control of their lives and anything less than that is a unacceptable to them. To me, this is quite facinating. I comend them for the ability to set everything aside and get whatever has to be done finished, regardless of what is on their mind. Not that girls can't accomplish anything when deep in thought, but it is usually hard to separate the thinking about 5 million different things while working. Yes, that is a slight exaggeration but hey I'm a girl and isn't that something we are known for? haha This is one thing that makes men better presidents...ok so that was my political instert, haha... It is amazing to realize that guys and girls can be so similar but so different on such a basic level.
So again, why is this the topic of today's discussion? well maybe it's a foreshadow for future posts...some things might seem very random but hey that's the nature of thinking in my head sometimes. It actually gets me into trouble sometimes. The little tidbit above about little things triggering a avalanche of thought is not always good. Though it sometimes leads to accurate interpretations, it often leads to disappointment, confusion, or frustration. On that note, I will let you know that some of my posts will be shallow in nature and some will be deep.
Well with that, I must go and get ready for work... Have a wonderfully blessed day :)
Dr. Jess, M.D.
It is not a new fact that men and women think differently. It is pretty obvious if you spend any time with the opposite gender that this is a true statement. The one thing you must remember is that girls are ALWAYS thinking...we always are mulling something over in our heads and trying to keep things organized and figured out. As where you can ask a man what they are thinking about and the reply is "nothing." I wouldn't be able to know if that is even possible, but guys do seem able to turn off at least the symptoms of thinking. Maybe that is their way of mulling things over. Regardless, at any given time some little tidbit of information will unlock a whole new train of thought that no one else would even give a second thought to. Why do I bring this up? Well, only just because I have been doing a lot of thinking recently. I'm about to make some huge decisions in my life and frankly, though I'm very excited, I'm also scared beyond measure. There are really only 3 things that make that better; prayer, talking, and THINKING. So, last night at work, I had a strange shift. I had to work from 12 am to 9 am to bring out the spring line of clothes. This was an enjoyable time because it was just a few associates, NO customers :), we turned the music up loud, and danced. We each had a several projects to do. In doing these projects it left a lot of time time to think. When I get into a rhythem like preparing for a lab, or busting shipment, or anything that I can do "mechanically" (that is, rhythm-like), it instantly triggers the thought wheels turning. Especially working through the night when I'm most used to sleeping, a lot of the "straightening out" process was lost...more dream-like than I realized at the time. But needless to say, I made it through the shift...otherwise there wouldn't be this post...you get the picture.
Guys, on the other hand, seemingly handle thinking and stressful situations differently. It is more introspective and quiet, as were girls can't wait to spill some new revelation. Guys don't want to appear stressed or lost cuz that is their thing...they command control of their lives and anything less than that is a unacceptable to them. To me, this is quite facinating. I comend them for the ability to set everything aside and get whatever has to be done finished, regardless of what is on their mind. Not that girls can't accomplish anything when deep in thought, but it is usually hard to separate the thinking about 5 million different things while working. Yes, that is a slight exaggeration but hey I'm a girl and isn't that something we are known for? haha This is one thing that makes men better presidents...ok so that was my political instert, haha... It is amazing to realize that guys and girls can be so similar but so different on such a basic level.
So again, why is this the topic of today's discussion? well maybe it's a foreshadow for future posts...some things might seem very random but hey that's the nature of thinking in my head sometimes. It actually gets me into trouble sometimes. The little tidbit above about little things triggering a avalanche of thought is not always good. Though it sometimes leads to accurate interpretations, it often leads to disappointment, confusion, or frustration. On that note, I will let you know that some of my posts will be shallow in nature and some will be deep.
Well with that, I must go and get ready for work... Have a wonderfully blessed day :)
Dr. Jess, M.D.
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